Life.

I'm sitting here on my couch thinking about life and how things come to be. And I'm thinking about HD and how it affects me personally. I usually think about what I would do if I got tested, and being faced with this disease more and more each day I've begun to self diagnose. I notice my legs are having movement, my toes, and I feel incredibly ansty all the time. Sitting for more than 30 minutes becomes a huge inconvenience.

One of the doctors who came to our HD Education day said something about being tested and how once they give you those results they can't take them back. Which I understood. I didn't want to get tested until I was ready to settle down and have children. But now, I'm not so sure that is the best choice. When I was younger I wanted to know asap. But then I decided having HD would get in my way of moving on with my life.

I know each day is a gift from God and we should live it to the fullest, but lets be honest with ourselves. Not many of us do that. I would want to hope for the best and that my results would be negative. But if they were postive, I wonder how I would cope. How my mother would take it. I've been thinking of how I would tell my friends and family and how they would take this.

HD in my family was passed from my great grandmother Mary Webb Mabry to my grandfather Walter Mabry, to my father Edwin Mabry, and recently to my brother Bryan Mabry. My papa Walter had three siblings, the oldest was negative, second child positive, third negative and my papa the last child was positive. By the time I was old enough to know my papa he was already taken over by the disease and it was too late. I know he was in the Navy, didn't spend much time with my dad and married a Japanese woman named Michyo who is my grandma and took care of him till the day he died. My dad was raised in New Zealand with his mom and older brother, who as far as we know is HD negative. As far as my dad's side of the family we don't know much of their history or what all happend.

I hope when I come to terms and have to face this disease for myself I will be strong enough to face the consequences of my decision but God will hopefully be by my side...