2013, with a BANG!

So my year is over of trying to find myself, figure out my future, graduate from college and find the love of my life. Check Check Check... Or so I thought. All the above have happened, but now it's down to the wire. I run out of my insurance in March, so what does this mean for me and my gene status? It means I will be finding out whether I have HD or not before my 23rd birthday. Am I afraid? Of course I am. Does anyone usually want to find out what they are eventually going to die from, probably not. I argued with Mike, the love of my life, last night at dinner. He said anything could be passed on, that it's possible to get anything. Which I am quite aware of, but then the ugliest sentence that has ever passed my lips was spoken, I told him I'd rather have cancer. I think I'd rather be given the shot to be able to put up the fight. I want to option to fight the disease I may or may not have rather than succumb to it. I know I always said I would never fall in love, get married, or even ever think about having children. But, it happened. This changes the game for me. Now what? What about Mike? What does this mean for us and for him? Does he really understand what he is getting himself into? I always knew that if I didn't have HD my life would go on as though nothing had changed and I would just keep doing what I am doing, but if it's positive? Do I crawl into a hole and never leave my house, or push my friends and family because they supported me in making what would seem to be the worst choice of my life, do I tell Mike to run far far away from me because I'm about to morph into a monster? For the love of God what do I do? What did you do? Each day I pace back and forth in my own head trying to make sense of this disease and how and why it has impact me, my life, and my family. Why us?! Oh, my Lord that is a different post in itself. I try to remind myself I have amazing friends in the HD community that I will only refer to as A, L, T and D, who have the best clue as to what I am about to go through and who have really sit by me and hold my hand and lend a shoulder for this rocky road I'm trying to walk down. Any advice? Please leave it as a comment.